fast

Time flies by seriously fast now. I feel overwhelmed with anxieties about things I can’t control. My struggle isn’t dwelling over the past but rather worrying over my future. I know that one day I’ll look back and think that all my worrying was futile but right now I can’t help it. I have this desire to take control over my life but I’m losing control as I overthink how to control it. So this is what I tell myself.

Somedays I wake up and go for a run and finish my to do list. Other days, I sleep in and spend the morning reading in bed. Time doesn’t wait for me but that doesn’t mean that I have to wait on time. What’s the rush right? The world is always moving and if I just wake up that day, that’s already one step on my path.

Mabul Island, Sabah

Ahh! It’s been a while. Just a month ago, I graduated highschool. Since then I’ve been busy travelling, catching up on reading and deeply overthinking about my future. As you know by now, my post excerpts are often unrelated to the post itself. This blog is indeed a photo blog but I have to let you know that I have always been more interested in writing. In fact, I joined my school’s editorial board as a writer hoping to gain knowledge that would spur me on to achieve my dream of becoming a journalist. To my surprise, there and then was where I discovered my interest in photography too! After that, I decided that I wanted to be a photojournalist.

This leads us to the birth of this blog! It’s my virtual photography portfolio. When I took up journalling in December of 2020, I also began to enjoy writing in everything I did. I even started to enjoy writing 6 page school essays about how to encourage students to read. That’s when I decided to leave little pieces of myself whenever I wrote and that made this blog a lot more personal to me. I have so many thoughts and it’s much easier to organise my headspace when I put them into eligible words. Here I try to share the things that I hope you find relatable.

It feels good to know that I put my writing out there. I used to write short stories and I’ve made many attempts at participating in writing competitions. For the past two years, I’ve been on and off writing a novel. This slow pace frustrates me and I feel discouraged. “What if I never fulfill my childhood dream of publishing something for the world to read?” So here we have this blog, my hope! The little paragraphs I write here remind me that I’ve still got it in me. I love writing and no matter what I write it is of importance. A small step is better than no movement at all. Do wish me luck as I continue this writing journey and thank you for being here 🙂

3 years

Whoa! Just as I planned to update today, I received a notification that today marks my third year anniversary on WordPress! It’s been quite a journey. Blogging for me began as a trend. My two close friends started posting and that inspired me to have a voice as well! However, at age 13 I didn’t have much to say as I was still figuring myself out. My first two blogs were named after milkshakes and scents and had nothing to do with either of those things. I wrote about the most random of things from travel tips to new recipes.

Now as I look back, I’m so grateful to see physical evidence of how much I’ve grown. I started this when I was just entering the teenage phase and here I stand nearly at adulthood. I can definitely say that I’ve found myself.

Photography for me began on a whim. I joined my school’s Editorial Board because I liked to write and found myself taking an interest in photography. It started when I touched a camera for the first time, my dad’s Nikon D350, to take photos on Sport’s Day when there was a shortage of photographers. Even now, I’m one of the very few photographers n school. 13 year old me would have never imagined that I would become president of the Photography Club (newly formed this year!) in school.

To future me, at 17 I see how far I’ve come from 13. I know you’ll see me and feel the same. Life moves pretty fast so don’t forget to take a step back and take a pic to remember.

blue seas blue sky

Another weekend getaway. This time to my favourite place on the coast. Everything seems brighter under the sun. Colours, feelings. The slight price of added melanin is worth it to spend a few hours bobbing in the ocean.

As someone who doesn’t like in their hometown, it’s places like these that make living away from family okay. I feel so grateful that I’ve gotten to experience so much even though I’m as young as I am. I read once that God made places like this to give us a glimpse of paradise on earth. I’m sure paradise above would be so much greater.

Sea Gypsy Boys//Bajau Laut Sabah

I took these photos at Semporna, Sabah, last year. These boys are Bajau Laut etnic people. I saw them playing under the jetty I was on. They were jumping off the 10 foot high jetty into the sea-urchin laden sea. In these photos you can see them on a foam-board. One of the boys found a pomelo’s skin and thought it would make a great hat!

More pictures can be found on my instagram @_travelcamera

written on 18th of May 2021

a window of opportunity

Date: (March 2020) A week before life as we knew it changed.

Location: On a ferry from Labuan to Sabah

Mid-March 2020, my grandfather celebrated his 71st birthday as he visited Labuan Federal Territory. This trip marked his completion of visiting all the 14 states of Malaysia. I’m very glad I got to do it with him.

Since that trip, I’ve only seen him once and even that was only for an overnight stay.

During our Labuan trip we knew the unavoidable was coming. The virus had already hit China and was rapidly spreading. It wouldn’t be long before it hit our country. However, what nobody could expect was the impact of the virus. Thus, nobody was prepared for it. I naively assumed it would be over in a few months, yet here we are in our third lockdown with thousands of cases daily. I still naively hope that we will be in the clear soon. My greatest wish of last year was to be able to spend Christmas with my family. It didn’t happen. Despite that, my greatest wish this year is still the same.

I frequently contact my grandparents through video chat but it’s just not the same as being in their arms.

I love looking back at photos from my previous trips. Even photos as insignificant as this window on a ferry, brings me back to a time where I could feel the sea breeze on my face and wrap my arms around my grandpa.

social distance.

Taken a few months ago, this picture captures how I felt amidst this pandemic. I was so fascinated watching them arrive to the beach alone as the sky grew stormy overhead. They wanted to watch the storm and they came prepared for it. The sky looked like it was going to cry and there was a gray sunset. However, it did not rain.

To me, this symbolises how I felt waiting for the storm to come. Alone, trying to be prepared for the unknown.