Mabul Island, Sabah

Ahh! It’s been a while. Just a month ago, I graduated highschool. Since then I’ve been busy travelling, catching up on reading and deeply overthinking about my future. As you know by now, my post excerpts are often unrelated to the post itself. This blog is indeed a photo blog but I have to let you know that I have always been more interested in writing. In fact, I joined my school’s editorial board as a writer hoping to gain knowledge that would spur me on to achieve my dream of becoming a journalist. To my surprise, there and then was where I discovered my interest in photography too! After that, I decided that I wanted to be a photojournalist.

This leads us to the birth of this blog! It’s my virtual photography portfolio. When I took up journalling in December of 2020, I also began to enjoy writing in everything I did. I even started to enjoy writing 6 page school essays about how to encourage students to read. That’s when I decided to leave little pieces of myself whenever I wrote and that made this blog a lot more personal to me. I have so many thoughts and it’s much easier to organise my headspace when I put them into eligible words. Here I try to share the things that I hope you find relatable.

It feels good to know that I put my writing out there. I used to write short stories and I’ve made many attempts at participating in writing competitions. For the past two years, I’ve been on and off writing a novel. This slow pace frustrates me and I feel discouraged. “What if I never fulfill my childhood dream of publishing something for the world to read?” So here we have this blog, my hope! The little paragraphs I write here remind me that I’ve still got it in me. I love writing and no matter what I write it is of importance. A small step is better than no movement at all. Do wish me luck as I continue this writing journey and thank you for being here 🙂

a cloud shaped like an elephant

I thought I’d start the year off with one of my favourite photos of the trip. It really does look like an elephant!!!

One thing I’m struggling with since coming back from holiday is adapting to the time. In KL sunset was at 7pm. Here in Sabah, it’s 6. One of my resolutions is to wake up earlier. Preferably at sunrise. I’m practically a plant. I thrive on sunlight and I love water.

I hope this new year spirit lasts throughout the year. I want to constantly be striving to be a better version of myself.

The biggest thing I learnt last year was “I am capable of doing anything I put my mind to.” Except, dancing it seems.

I wonder what I’ll learn this year.

where to? home

From KK to Sepanggar, Ranau or Sipitang, you can travel by bus, taxi, grab or even foot if you’re crazy. From KK to KL it’s a bit more than 2 hours via flight. That’s why home feels so far. Home to me is somewhere that is accessible. Somewhere where you can be yourself and do things you want. I spent a long time doubting my every step. Being at home for close to two years gave me room to figure out my next move. That’s why home here is so special to me. I’m still uncertain about where home actually is. I use the phrase so casually: “Hey let’s go home,” referring to the hotel we’re staying at for a week in Taiwan. “This feels like home,” being at the beach resort that I really do consider a second home in Sabah even though I’ve only been there twice. Writing this makes me realise that home is where my family is. In Taiwan, I spent a wonderful week in an air bnb with Tata and Patti. At the resort, we spent our Christmas away from family. Kl is home because family is there. Ipoh too. Often my inner battle is between Sabah and KL. I refer to our trips to Kl as “going home,” but when in KL I know Sabah is home too.

I hope you have a great holiday season where your home is.

global

Here’s an old photo from an art exhibit. The syringes were strung in such a manner that it showed an image of the 7 continents. It depicts how covid affected the whole world. This was in August 2020. One year later and it feels like the whole world has moved on and I’m still in the same place as I was last year.

Of course, I have evolved as a person. I have new talents, hobbies, values. However, I haven’t experienced much. I miss plane rides, new countries, fresh air, new views. It’s hard to see my neighbourhood through a fresh perspective when I have to run the same route every day. I’ve even tried running in the opposite direction but after a while even that seemed routined.

There’s only so much to do at home. I want to live in the moment. as much as I try, I can’t help but feel like I’m working towards my future. It’s always on my mind. Where I’ll be in 5 years. It’s hard to live in the now when it feels so stagnant.

I can’t wait for this to be over with. As much as I’m grateful for all that I’ve learnt and who I’ve become, this is going on for far too long. I’m ready to move on please.